This week RYAN asks:
“I was in the pumpkin patch choosing a pumpkin for Halloween. A zombie came up from behind and startled me. I hit it with my shovel and it broke in two. Can I get in trouble for this?”
Well thank you for your question Ryan. There is always some tough legal analysis where zombies are concerned. The obvious starting point is whether you are in trouble with the police for murder. You are in luck. Murder is a culpable (illegal) killing. Since Zombies are undead they cannot be killed. So you are lucky—had it been a vampire it would have been another story—but then if you are taking on a vampire with just a shovel the police would be the least of your problems.
The next obvious point is whether you can get in trouble with the police for interfering with a dead body which violates section 182 of the Criminal Code. Some clever Lawyering here. Where you are not in trouble for murder because the Zombie was not alive, you beat this rap because a Zombie was not dead. Zombies are Undead. There are no Canadian laws dealing with the undead.
Could the owner of the Zombie sue you for damaging their property? Although you cannot stop people from suing, I think you are in the clear here as well. The only way someone can sue you is if they put a claim into court which is a public record. Since owning Zombies is against the law suing you would be a lot more trouble than it would be worth!
A word of caution. Zombies are like wasps, you knock one off and suddenly hundreds more show up—and make no mistake–they are not trick or treating –they want to eat your brains! So tonight when you are trick or treating you might want to bring your shovel along!
Have a safe and Happy Halloween!
EDITOR’S NOTE: This publication is the fifth installment of our firm’s Legal Matters series, which answers a reader’s question every week. If you have a general legal question that you would like to have addressed please send it via email to firstname.lastname@example.org